Really sad to know what you going through. That is why astrologers insist on Complete Horoscope Matching or Kundali Milan. Many just go for Guna milan which is not enough. You should insist for Guna and Graha Milan , which tell your matching not only from Birth Nakshatra, but also from various planets that are in the horoscope. You can read more about Kalathara Dosha below.