These days both men and women have their own identity and personality. You cannot dictate the ways your wife should adopt and neither she can insist on how you should behave. It is a matter of give and take. Regarding extra marital affairs there is not a single soul in this world who does not at least mentally undress a person of the opposite sex. It is the law of nature. Read the epics and even Lord Shiv also succumbed to such carnal desires.