Please reply if any of them right then I will answer your query
You have suffered betrayal many times in your life and getting emotionally destroyed by others is nothing new for you and for some odd reason you unknowingly especially when feeling lots of anxiety and pressure you have habit of shaking your head and harm yourself as you always blame yourself never want to be in limelight but aways gets into that even when not wanting for not so good reasons, never take care of your body health and personal development learned it the Hardway from watching others had no guidance, and there was even a punishment at school because of your dress not properly pressed and organized and sometimes you forgot to wear it and then after punishment you started to iron your dress but after some time you again left them unorganized same case with your hair when because of your close kin death you had to shave your head you felt big humiliation by every single of your classmate at school and even fight because of it betrayed by so called friends.
Your whole family has a history of a disease sugar/ diabetes due to which they are unable to eat food of their choice and have to constrict their diet to limited food, and your father must have had verbal spat fight with a pandit who came at his home over the money matters, over the matters related to his mother, and that pundit must have cursed him Infront of everyone verbally like he will suffer from mental agony such kind of thing and he didn’t take any money/ food after the fight, it was very big event and everyone in the family started to avoid him after that.