4 Years of Ongoing Separation. Is Reconcilation or Divorce?

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    • #145991 Reply
      Kavya Tripathi

      Namaste Esteem Astrologers.

      4 years ago, I was thrown out of my matrimonial home by my husband. My 2 kids (12 and 10 age) are with my husband only. He is not allowing me to return to matrimonial home nor allowing me to talk to my kids. I am loosing my mind as I have been unable to know the well being of my kids since last 1 year almost. My husband is currently living with another lady in the same matrimonial home, which I got to knew from my matrimonial home neighbors and maid.

      My query:

      1) Is reconciliation possible or

      2) are there chances of Divorce with custody of my kids granted to me or

      3) I have to live Separated and alone for my remaining life without my kids.

      Kavya (Female)

      Date: January 31, 1980
      Time: 3:32:00 am
      Place: Bhopal, Madhya Pradesh (77 E 41′ 26″, 23 N 26′ 39″)

      Manu (Male)

      Date: November 4, 1980
      Time: 01:00:00 am
      Place: Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh (75 E 22′ 00″, 32 N 26′ 00″)


      Kindly guide me, all Esteem Astrologers. Thank you. I am very much disturbed. Please help and guide.


    • #146010 Reply


      At the outset, it looks like you guys might have fallen in love and got married. There are some afflictions in both the birth-charts, that give some hints to the current/stated situation. It would help though, if you could kindly provide some background (about yourself, your husband, what happened/when and how things precipitated etc.), to help set the context.

      Take care…

      • #146047 Reply
        Kavya Tripathi

        Thanks for replying back Buddy ji.

        Yes it was a Love cum arranged marriage. I got married on 1st may 2006 after a dating for 4-5 years. My dad gave lot of dowry as he loved me a lot.

        Though there were always some frictions as my husband used to get very hyper even on small-small things and sometimes even broke off the household items. But, there was a little improvement after the birth of my daughter in Oct 2012.  And things went smooth till my son’s birth in August 2015. But, since 2017 I started realizing changes in his behavior and also about his numerous affairs or flings.

        Since then our relationship started to deteriorate, he stopped taking interest in family life and household responsibility as a husband and father, started ignoring me, my existence was unimportant for him, started coming home very late in night and finally our marital relationship broke completely in the beginning of 2020.

        Myself and my husband and our kids used stay in a different city than that of my parents and in in-laws who both stay in same city. The separation happened so, that I came to meet my parents house while my kids were at my in-laws place. Using this opportunity, my husband took my kids away to our matrimonial home in another city. Thereafter he never allowed me to return back. I tried to reason out with my in-laws but there are also helpless and there relations with my husband are also strained to an extent.

        Since then I am living at my parents house while my children are with him. I am unable to go back as he threatens me with dire consequences if I return back. Also he is not allowing me to talk to our kids. I don’t know what to do.

        Lawyers have advised me not to file for Divorce case from my side, as the courts may consider me as a bad woman who is hell bent on destroying her married life and children life also and would not grant me custody of kids.

        Should I wait more as it has already been 4+ years or should I go ahead and take some legal actions or opt for Divorce and custody case.


    • #146066 Reply


      You guys fell in love and got married alright. Your husband has a very strong Mars/Kuja in the 4th house of Homely Comforts, forming a strong Ruchaka Maha-Purusha Yoga. It also makes him a strong Mangalik or somebody who has Kuja Dosha. So, he was a angry young man… not sure how you did not realize that, after dating him for 4-5 years.

      Anyways, just so you are aware he was running Maha-Dasha of Rahu (from mid-2000 to mid-2018), placed in the 12th house and more importantly, participates in Sukshma Parivarthana Yoga with Mercury/Budha, at Nakshatra level. So, by nature he might be a bit deceptive/twisted in his thinking.

      On the other side, you were running Maha-Dasha of Mercury/Budha (from early 1999 to early 2016). Thereafter, you started Maha-Dasha of Ketu (from early 2016 to early 2023) and currently in the Maha-Dasha of 7th & 12th lord Venus/Shukra. Incidentally, they are conjunct in the 4th house and hence I’m inclined to think you might have gotten a bit detached/abstained and stopped entertaining him and his fantasies from early 2016, precipitating matters and subsequently leading to further detachment/separation. And, you are currently in the midst of Ashtama-Shani or Saturn/Shani-dev’s transit across natal placement of Moon/Chandra…making things a bit more stressful for you. By the way, you seem to have a fair share of pent-up anger yourself and I’m left with a feeling you are not sharing everything about yourself (if not, why would lawyers give such advices is something I’m left wondering about).

      In any case, I’m inclined to think legal separation (or divorce) may not happening. So, there is an opportunity for sorting things out and reconciliation. In the given situation it would perhaps make sense for you guys to consider propitiating the afflicted planets/grahas, starting with Rahu-Ketu – the Lunar Nodes. Apart from that, there is a pressing need for good marriage/relationship counselling for both of you (both to validate truth and help accept realities of life) – your father’s weakness (if any) and inability to assert himself for (or lack of other strong personalities to support) your cause is not helping.

      Take care…

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