Hi,
I could easily spend half an hour or half a day in preaching folk… on how some individuals bottle-up their feelings and the outpouring is literally an volcanic explosion, whenever things go beyond a certain threshold (varies for each person). Counselling by inexperienced and untrained folk often hurts the situation…all probably part of one’s Karma. But realization and taking timely corrective action is important.
And, lastly I can understand and relate to your (both you and your husband’s) situation. Both of you need help and guidance from well-meaning/knowledgeable/experienced folk. If not delicately handled, things could drag-on and go wrong.
Take care…